A Quandary of Poultry Proportions

You would think that living in a country like the United States especially during such a turbulent time in history, Americans would have a high regard for the value of life. Every time you turn on the channel 5 you can find a news anchor recounting the latest catastrophe, in truly sympathetic diction. And I think that anyone who's had to suffer through the reports on the Iraq debacle can appreciate how much a life is truly worth. But as I was sitting down to dine at one of my favorite chicken wing establishments I noticed a major contradiction in what i thought was a universal mindset. Upon examining the menu I realized that a plate of twenty four wings costs $16.25, approximately 68 cents a wing. That means that for a pair of wings, it's going to run the hungry diner $1.36, and as far as I know chickens have 2 wings, so by the transitive property the life of a chicken is worth a dollar sixty three. Now, I'm no opponent of low prices, I enjoy a bargain as much as the next guy, but when I looked for something to accompany my meal I came to a startling realization. That is, an side of cheesy potatoes is no less that $5.55! Needless to say I was shocked, from previous experience I knew that an order of "Buffalo Chips with Cheddar" contains about 10-12 "potato coins", by my guess no more than 2 potatoes. After some quick computations I came to understand that Buffalo Wild Wings values the "life" of 2 potatoes far over that of a chicken. Since when has a common plant out valued the life of a walking clucking being? Did I miss a memo? If this isn't animal cruelty I don't know what is. Some may argue that the reason is because chickens can breed all year long while potatoes can only be harvested annually. This may be why but as a chicken enthusiast I still object. This is an egregious attack on the self esteem of the poultry across the nation and it must be rectified. I propose a chicken appreciation week in which people from coast to coast would reconsider how important this fowl really is to our nation. Until then, the next time you're sitting down to dinner think about what your life would be without our fine feathered friends.